first post
i want to die but i cannot i have to much shit to do. got a friend visiting next week, i got to work cant leave my belongings behind etc. im in a limbo with my life no direction or passion to work for therefore i get bored my boredom is relieved by drugs, sex and alcohol. but the scary part is that none of that anymore makes me feel anything besides ingesting cocaine. i maintain a job but im starting to lose my grip on my control the main reason i am addicted is due to my lack of giving a shit about my life. i see no value i see no point and future i don't have any close friends in my perception. sure i have people who care about me and want me to succeed but they dont know the real me because the real me is a burden and or others wont understand. im scared to attempt to become close to others due to my bad habits being used against me. i dont love myself and i dont know how to fix that, im gonna try the gym to see if i get any satisfaction i love cooking for others but, its not of...